Wednesday, December 30, 2009

52 books in 52 weeks....

The goal is to read one book (at least) a week for 52 weeks. The rules are very simple:

  1. The challenge will run from January 1, 2010 through December 31, 2010.
  2. Participants may join at any time.
  3. All forms of books are acceptable including e-books, audio books, etc.
  4. Re-reads are acceptable as long as they are read after January 1, 2010.
  5. Books may overlap other challenges.
  6. Create an entry post linking to this blog.
  7. Come back and sign up with Mr. Linky in the "I'm participating post" below this post.
  8. You don't have a blog to participate, I can set you up as a reviewer.
  9. I'll be adding a post with Mr. Linky for participants to post book reviews.

Check out for more information.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009 life according to my music...

RULES: 1. Put your mp3 player, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

Motherless Child (John Legend)

...interesting.....very interesting

A Walk Through Hell (Say Anything)

lmfao!!!! This is my life....totally!

My Sacrifice (Creed)

hahaha....I don't think so....

I Saw (Matt Nathanson)


I Want It All (Queen)

again...I don't think so...but I do know what I want...


U + Ur Hand (P!NK)

hahahhah yep....


Tears In Heaven (Eric Clapton)

k I guess....

Wonderful (Rob Thomas)

ya I don't believe that for one minute.....

American Pie (Don McLean)


WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Space Cowboy (Steve Miller Band)



Finale B (Rent)

just weird....

Slice (Five For Fighting)

these lyrics are pretty good....and fitting...


My Hero (Foo Fighters)


Beautiful  Girls (Sean Kingston)

hahahha......hahahhaha...yep yep!!

3 AM (Matchbox 20)

well there will never be a wedding...sooo

Me Love (Sean Kingston)


I'm A Queen (India Arie)

Yep....this song is me....not my interest but me.

Hold Me Twice


Ain't That America (John Cougar Mellancamp)


Slow Dance (John Legend)


Today for You (Rent)

Sober (P!NK)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

...and they never cease to amaze me...

...sometimes in not so good ways, other times in just utterly amazing tender moments. As all of you should know by now, I don't censor much. I have never been the parent to hide away behind locked doors to discuss life under any circumstance. If anything in life happens, good or bad, my children most liking will know about it if they care to pay attention to what we are talking about. This past week has certainly been a crazy one and just as every week that has past my children have heard me discussing a lot of issues surrounding everything that is going on. Well these children have never ceased to amaze me. Dawson has been really trying to figure out ways to make $50 so that he can trade his DS in for a DSi at Game Stop. He has been devising all sorts of ways that he can make money, and this morning as the snow fell he grew excited at the prospect of being able to shovel some snow for a few dollars to put towards his savings. He knows that as Christmas and his birthday are approaching he will end up with some money from that. So as we were snuggled under a warm blanket on the couch, he turns to look up at me and says....Mum....I just want to let you know that if gram needs something done I will do it for her and if she tries to give me money for Christmas or my birthday I am going to give it back to her because she needs it more than I do. Immediately I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I cannot believe that this young young boy....has realized that no matter what you think you need there is always somebody else who needs something more than you do. If only people kept this mentality as they aged. All the doubt about my parenting that I had last night was washed away. I know that I *am* indeed making an impression of these young minds. They are taking in everything that I tell then and show them and using if for a greater good. I couldn't be more proud of them.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Gone....yet still here....

Main Entry: 1ba·by

Pronunciation: \ˈbā-bē\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural babies

Etymology: Middle English, from babe

Date: 14th century

1 a (1) : an extremely young child; especially : infant (2) : an extremely young animal b : the youngest of a group
2 a : one that is like a baby (as in behavior) b : something that is one's special responsibility, achievement, or interest


My baby is gone. It's official. She is a 16yo young woman.

As I sit here tonight pondering exactly what I am feeling as we push through all of these milestones in her life's journey I couldn't help but look back at what I wrote in THIS BLOG POST a few years back. I was just as emotional that night as I am this evening...however back then, words didn't escape me as they do now. I know that the drama that I have endured this week if part of what is leaving me without words. I am sitting here and cannot help but wonder if I am making the correct decisions in regards to my children's lives. There are times that I wonder if I am too lenient on them. I am a liberal parent, as most people know, and I do often wonder if the fact that I am is going to hinder them in any way as they grow. In my mind, the fact that I allow them experience life uncensored allows them to do just that, experience life. By giving them a lot of control over their own lives I think it has shaped their personality and the people that they are becoming.

I still can't help but doubt myself at times, especially now that my baby is grown. Have I showed her enough to keep her safe? Have I done my job as a parent well enough to enable to her to look back and make a good decision when faced with a tough situation? I hope that I have. I hope that despite all the teasing and joking around that we do that she has actually taken me seriously when we talk about serious issues. I guess all that we can hope for is our best....hope that we have done enough in the short time that we have their undivided attention to make an impression on them.

I still have no words for how I am really feeling though. I am sad...sad for the fact that my baby is gone....sad for the fact that I know that I have to contend with many other influences in her life right now....sad for the fact that the dangers out there have increased by 100% now that she is able to operate a motor vehicle. On the other hand....I am happy....happy for the fact that I have a wonderful relationship with her...and all of my children....happy for the fact that I am as involved in her life as I am....and happy for the fact that she is...well...happy. (most of the time anyway) I am also grateful.....grateful for the fact she is such an amazing young woman....grateful for the fact that she is my daughter....grateful for the fact that I have her in my life.

There are times that I wish I could stop time, this is one of them...actually more like a week ago, when I still had a 15 yo girl. I know that physically nothing much has changed over the course of the week, but this week has been a week of emotional growth and maturity on both of our parts I think. I have realized that no matter how much I doubt, I need to be confident in the fact that I did my job.

We have made it 16 years without incident and I cannot complain about the journey that she has taken me on, there have been a few bumps in the road but nothing so steep that we haven't been able to pull through. She truly is an amazing young woman, so thoughtful, so compassionate, so full of life!

Baby girl, I hope you know that I am proud of you and love you dearly. I hope that you continue on this journey just as you are now....taking life in your hands and LIVING it to the fullest! Keep on going and don't look back but know that I will be there to help you up if you fall, just as I have been these past 16 years. Life can be crazy, just remember to stay true yourself and to what you believe. If this is the only "lesson" that you take from me, I will have done my job. It  really is the most important thing to remember. Nothing else matters! I love you more than you know.


I have never in my wildest dreams believe that I would be thrown into a situation that I am currently in and I can honestly say that I am not exactly the most trusting person out there. In fact it would be safe to say just the opposite. I am very untrusting on pretty much everybody, I have been through quite a bit in my life and I have seen so much hurt, despair and deception that it could last a few people a lifetime. With that said, I can sit back and say that I am completely dumbfounded at the lack of compassion that a daughter can have for her mother. Let me give you a brief run down of what has been going on recently.

My grandmother has been fairly sick the past few months. She has COPD, yet still continues to smoke, has rheumatoid arthritis, yet refuses to take her meds and do physical therapy, and has what we are pretty certain is early Alzheimer's. Well she has been pretty sick and for the most part home bound since late summer, so my aunt had stepped in to take over cleaning the house and paying her bills. Well over the weekend we realized that she wasn't doing well at all and decided that  it was time to go to the hospital. I kind of just stepped into the role of "agent" for my grandmother because of my outspokenness and knowledge of the medical field. Everybody in the family at that point was absolutely fine with me taking over that role, especially after they say me fighting with the ER doc about HIPPA laws. But anyway.....gram ended up being admitted to the hospital for observation and a few tests because they thought she had an obstruction. The following day we all got together and discussed as a family about what needed to happen. We came to the agreement that I would take over medical power of attorney and my aunt that was supposedly paying the bills was going to continue to do that but we were going to get together every 3 months to make sure that things were all in line.

On Monday, we find out about some financial issues that were going property liens for back taxes, defaulted loans etc. So we were wondering what was going on with all that because my aunt G was supposed to be helping my gram with paying bills. Aunt (G), who was handling gram's finances, comes to the hospital wreaking of alcohol and stumbling drunk. Well we were meeting with the social worker to go over all the paperwork for the POA. Aunt G goes on a tirade as we are talking to the social worker about how this was all bullshit that we were handing control over to "the baby" and that I was a power tripping control freak. I will cop to the control freak because at times I can be, however I rarely am on a power trip. So....Aunt G stomps off saying that she needed to get out of there. Well something just wasn't setting right with me. I could tell something was off. Aunt G knew that I was going to push and dig into things as to why bills weren't being paid etc. So, I leave after all the papers are signed and go to gram's house to check into some things. Well while I was there I found shut off notices for utilities and other paperwork that indicated that none of these bills were being paid. So  Tuesday morning I went with my paperwork to the bank to get a copy of my grams most recent statement only to find that aunt G has been basically robbing my gram blind. There was $860 in cash withdraws from my gram's account along with $105 grocery bill that was placed on her bank card. PLUS charges for 2 new bank cards that were issued to my aunt and her boyfriend. I took the paperwork into the hospital to discuss things with my gram. She told me that she gave Aunt G the card to purchase groceries for Thanksgiving dinner because she was going to bring some to my gram and my uncle. However my gram didn't think that it was going to be $105...also Aunt G ended up with consent from my gram to withdraw money to pay the bills. She was supposedly withdrawing cash and then putting it into her bank account to pay my gram's bills. Well I ended up spending all of Wed calling all of the utility companies and everything only to find out that that none of the bills were paid since August. She was months behind and services were going to be terminated because my aunt took the money that my gram thought was going to her bills and snorted it up her nose and drank it away.

I cannot believe that somebody would go as low as to steal from their aging and ill mother and basically leave her with NOTHING. NO food, NO house, NO heat, NOTHING! My gram was under the impression that my aunt cared, she was stopping at her house daily with food for her, going to the store for her and everything....and now she is left feeling used by this situation. I cannot even begin to imagine.

I was in a situation similar to this, but it was my brother stealing from me. I was not nearly as frail as my grandmother, and thankfully I caught it only after a few days so that I wasn't left with NOTHING. Right now we are unsure of how long this has been going on. My aunt supposedly has been doing the bills since June/July and that is right about when the bills had stopped being paid.

We are in the process of me taking POA over all of my gram's finances as well as medical decisions and I hope to be able to figure out just how much she has taken her for. We are debating on pressing charges because we actually think there is more to it. But let's not get into conspiracy theories without proper evidence now. I am just hoping this is the last of the drama for awhile because this week surely has been filled with it.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Intellectual Achievements

Personal Achievement
Meeting Challenges


Truth & Facts

Nonsense Rules

At work you are conceptual and an independent thinker. For you work is play. You are drawn to constant challenge in career, and like to develop models, explore ideas, or build systems to satisfy your need to deal wth the innovative. Once you have perfected an idea you prefer to move on leaving the project to be maintained and supported by others

In love you prefer to let your head rule tour heart. You dislike repetition, so it is difficult for you to continuously express your feelings. You beleive that once feelings are stated, they are obvious to a partner. You are uneasy when your emotions control you. You want to establish a relationship, leave it to maintain itself, and turn your energies back to your career.

In childhood you appeared to be older than your years and focused on your greatest interests, achiveing in subjects that were mentally stimulating. You were impatient with drill and routine, questioned authority, and found it necessary to respect teachers before you could learn from them.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Parental Advisory

ARGH!!!!!!!! What has happened to the parents in today's society? Have we all lost the sense of responsibility to the children that we have brought into this world? Do we think so little of how we, as parents, have a large part in the adults that these children are going to become? I would really love to know. It seems like lately I have had my fair share of run ins with some really idiotic people that have been thrust into the role of parenthood, but don't really want to be in that role.

This past weekend has been one incident after another. On Saturday we were at the local roller rink for a friend's birthday party and I witnessed some children taunting each other. Now I know that this happens often, but that does not make it "right." What I saw was 2 little boys chasing a younger girl, marking remarks about her race, her hair, her lack of skating experience, etc. Well this little girl began chasing them, and it became quite the game for these boys. After about an hour I guess this young girl had enough and pushed the one smaller of the 2 boys down and he got hurt. He hit his head on the pool table as he fell to the ground and immediately got a huge egg on his forehead. I am not condoning the fact that this girl laid her hands on this boy. I would never tell my children to resort to this kind of behaviour but I can certainly understand it. A person, not matter what their age, can only handle so much verbal attacking before they snap. It happens often. But, the point of this is the conversation that I heard of the mother of this injured boy having with her son. She was explaining to him that this young girl had no right to lay her hands on him even though he was teasing her. She went on to tell him that kids will be kids and they need to learn to deal with teasing/taunting but it is never ok to lay your hands on somebody. SINCE WHEN is it ok to verbally abuse somebody? This is basically what this young boy was doing. He was taunting her about the fact that she had numerous braids in her hair, he was teasing her about the color of her skin, and would skate circles around her and then when she fell over he would laugh and then skate away. How is this OK?!?! Granted he wasn't really touching her or physically "abusing" her, but this does not make it right. It is NEVER ok to verbally attack another person based on their race. I was dumbfounded that this mother was basically condoning her child's bigotry and telling him that it was ok because he wasn't "beating" her. The thing of it was I really think this mother thought that she was doing the right thing. The  mother of the young girl confronted her about why her daughter was being reprimanded by the skate guard and the mother of the young boy said 'well your daughter pushed my son down because he was teasing her and now he is hurt.' WOW! SERIOUSLY?!?! This mother had absolutely no regard for the fact that this young girl was probably hurting as well, not physically, but emotionally. It is NEVER fun being teased/taunted. I feel that most times those words hurt a lot more and a lot longer than a bump on the head. I cannot believe that this mentality is still so prominent. Just because you don't have a bruise to show for the pain does not mean that the pain does not exist. *sigh

So...onto yet another incident this weekend. The girls and I went to see Godspell. While we were there apparently Matt's mom walked over with Matt's nephew (S=nearly 7yo) to borrow a tool. Well she went to leave and S wanted to stay to play with Dawson, and Matt allowed this despite the fact that we have always had issues when he was here. He is not the most pleasant child to be around and he is just down right mean and nasty at times. He has smacked Dawson with a heavy maglite flash light because Dawson told him it was time to clean up, he has purposely run into the tires of the kids bikes, making them wreck, while he was riding with them because they were riding faster than he was and a bunch of other little petty stuff. It never fails that he and Dawson fight and one of them ends up hurt after 30 mins or so of being together. But was no different. S hit Dawson with a play sword because Dawson refused to give him a bakugan, and Matt went in and reprimanded them, and then wiped  Dawson up, and gave him some ice for his eye. Well during this time S stayed in the kids room until Matt's brother came to get him. Well we thought nothing of it....until Ky went to bed. She went to put some cash back into an envelope she had where she was keeping her birthday money and noticed that she was missing $70. Mind you this money was in an envelope with a gift card that was actually INSIDE of a larger birthday card sized envelope. Ky came up bawling hysterically that she was missing money and she was blaming Dawson for touching it. Well that money had been sitting there for nearly 3 wks UNTOUCHED despite the fact that there were 6-7 kids in and out of there during this time, with a few actually sleeping over. We came to the conclusion that S had to have taken it. There is no other explanation for it. Matt called his brother and told him about what happened and he called S's mother. S was confronted by his mother, who supposedly searched him and found jsut a "few" dollars on him, but who knows with her. She is an addict and I really wouldn't put it past her....or Matt's brother for that matter to find the money and use it for their next fix. S denies taking it, but that's not a shocker either. I know this child has some serious issues. He is a pawn in a game that his mother and father are playing. It really is a shame,  but I cannot allow this to slide. Children learn from example and it really isn't a shock that he is resorting to this type of behaviour. He knows that his father is an addict. S was with him when he was arrested for buying heroin. S has witnessed him stealing from his mother (Matt's mom.) There have been many other incidents but I will just let it go. These parents are so unfit it is unreal. Their lack of concern for this child is apparent. I hate that their actions are affecting my children negatively.

I know that I cannot protect my children from all of the negativity in the world today. In fact I am probably more open about how much negativity there is in this world than a lot of parents out there. I do not censor much. I am pretty straight forward with nearly every subject. If they ask about something I do tell them honestly as much as they want to know. However this does not mean that I want them to be hurt, or blatantly disrespected, or anything along those lines. I want them to be able to trust people, especially family. If you cannot trust those that are supposed to be the closest to you, the ones that are supposed to love you unconditionally, the ones that are supposed to stand by you when times are tough, the ones that are supposed to pull you out of hard times, who in the hell can you trust? I know that I have some serious trust issues because of pain and hurt that was caused by those that I thought loved/cared for me in my family. I do not want that for my children. This is one of the major reasons that I have cut many of my family members from our lives. I refuse to allow these people to inflict hurt and pain onto them with their actions and blatant disregard for others.

A huge number of children today seriously lack a good role model and this is going to affect the future of the world. I am not really looking forward to that. I can only hope that there are more children out there that do have somebody in their lives that teach them how to be a respectful adult.


.....where to start.

so close, yet worlds apart.

Do as I say.....

....not as I do. This seems to be the mind set that the majority of the American society has, especially in regards to our youth. The new generation of youth are the most inconsiderate, disrespectful in the nation over the past few decades. We, as a society, have created these "monsters" with our do as I say not as I do attitude. I have always led by example when it comes to my children. My children see my holding doors for elderly people, or people with strollers, or people in wheelchairs, so therefore my children do the same without even being asked (most of the time anyway). When I ask my children to do something it comes with a 'please do ......' and when they do I am sure to thank them for the assistance. It comes without even it should because it is BASIC ETIQUETTE. This isn't something that is taught in a 4 yr college or anything. It is simple manners people. This is all brought upon by a recent trip to the zoo. We were visiting the zoo and as we were leaving the aquarium there was a lady with a double stroller and another younger child in toe so Dawson immediately (without being asked) opened the 1st set of doors for her and I went through, said thank you and opened the 2nd set. Well the lady went through along with about 10 other sets of visitors and only ONE couple (an elderly couple that passed through last) said Thank you to Dawson for holding the door....ok I know people are ignorant and rude at times, but apparently they had some basic manners because they ALL said Thank you to me. WTF?!?! My 7 yo son is not worthy of a thank you after holding the door for your ignorant ass passed through it. I know he THINKS he has super powers, but I can assure you he was NOT using his invisibility powers that day. I know they saw him, but they thought so little of him that they passed by him without the courtesy of saying thank you. UGH I was furious, but knowing Dawson....I knew he would handle it in his own way..and he did. He said LOUD enough for them to hear 'You're Welcome!'

That's my boy!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Individulistic Doer

So I took this personality test...and this is what it says about me. What do ya think?

Individualistic Doer (ID)

Individualistic Doers are self-assured and very independent people. They are quiet and realistic, very rational, extremely matter of fact people. They strongly cultivate their individualism and enjoy applying their abilities to new tasks. But they are also very spontaneous and impulsive persons who like to follow their sudden inspirations. Individualistic Doers are good and precise observers who register everything which goes on around them. However, they are not so sensitive as regards interpersonal relations and are surprised when they occasionally rub someone up the wrong way with their direct and blunt manner. They are not particularly fond of obligations; but if you give them space, they are uncomplicated, sociable and cheerful individuals.

Individualistic Doers enjoy challenges - action and the odd kick are simply part of their life. They love tempting fate and many people of this type have risky hobbies such as skydiving or bungee jumping. This also applies to their workaday life. Individualistic Doers are in top form in critical situations; they can grasp situations, make decisions and take the necessary steps extremely quickly. Hierarchies and authorities impress them very little; if a superior is not competent, they will have little respect for him. Individualistic Doers like to take on responsibility. They have a marked sense of reality and always find the most suitable and expedient solution for a problem. They resolve conflicts openly and directly; here, they sometimes lack tact but are also very good at taking criticism themselves. Learn more about the Individualistic Doer at work ...

As friends, Individualistic Doers are loyal and devoted; they only have a few friendships but many of them last a lifetime. People enjoy talking to them because of their optimistic attitude to life and their ability to listen. However, they prefer to talk about mutual interests and hobbies rather than about theoretical or philosophical issues - they are not tangible enough for them. They need a lot of freedom and time to themselves in love relationships but, at the same time, they are also very tolerant towards their partners. It happens very seldom that Individualistic Doers fall head over heels in love. They are far too rational. They prefer to pick their partner on the basis of mutual interests and preferences which they want to share with that partner. Individualistic Doers are not particularly fond of effusive outbursts of emotion. They prefer to prove their love by their actions and expect the same of their partner. Whoever wishes to tie an Individualistic Doer to himself needs a lot of patience. It takes some time before this personality type is willing to get involved with another person.

All Doers love their freedom, but if there were a prize for independence and autonomy, you would win it. You need your personal space more than all others, and if your partner sticks to you like Velcro, you quickly feel constrained in your independence and individuality, not to speak of the fact that a person like that could not hang on to you for good. For that reason, you should carefully pick a partner who can deal with being alone, and does not get nervous when he/she has to spend an evening or even an entire vacation by him/herself. For you, a relationship is a nice and certainly a worthwhile addition to life. However, you don’t think your existence would be incomplete without one. Therefore, you are not in danger of jumping into an unrewarding relationship out of desperation; you’d rather wait until the right person crosses your path.

After all, you are a head person who does not fall in love blindly; you wonder whether your counterpart will complement you, and whether the stars favor a relationship. For impetuous personality types, you can be a true challenge, because it can take you quite a while to express your feelings. Even then, you don’t start with flying colors, but rather, you keep your handbrake engaged, and a hand on your ejection seat so that you can quickly escape in the case of doubt. Your freedom is always more important to you than a relationship where you would have to make too many compromises for your taste.

Your inner independence certainly does not mean that you are not willing or able to commit yourself to another person, on the contrary. Once you have decided on someone, you invest a lot in your relationship, albeit more with action than passionate vows of love. Then you are very sensitive toward your partner, and quickly register what he/she wants or needs at that moment. You support him/her loyally, faithfully, and with commitment when he/she needs your help. Whomever you love always has a reliable comrade-in-arms on his/her side.

If one wanted to characterize you with one word, it would probably be “independent.” Few types are as freedom loving and individualistic as you (nomen est omen.) You should find a working environment where rules and structures play a secondary role, where the hierarchies are flat and where you won’t be limited to detailed projects and work flows. Your freedom to act cannot be large enough as far as you are concerned. You want to deal with things in the way you think it makes sense; how they relate to your own (high) standards and you don’t need others telling you how things must be done.

Titles and established authorities don’t impress you in the least. If someone is competent in your eyes, you have no problem occasionally listening to him/her. If he/she is not, there is no way that you’ll obey his/her instructions just because he/she has got a sign with “department manager” hanging on their door. Furthermore, you are all for equal rights and would prefer that everybody have the same rights.

Deadlines and obligation are just as much anathema to you as is long-term planning. In regulated and hierarchic environments, your direct manner can also get you into trouble. Not all bosses appreciate constructive criticism. Could it be that you already got into trouble in school because you did not feeling like learning something because you believed it to be irrelevant? It is almost impossible for you to silently put up with a dreadful situation in order to avoid conflict. In not too conservative and authoritarian settings, your contribution will probably be more appreciated than in other traditional professional environments.

Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, practical, logical, spontaneous, adventurous, resolved, independent, fearless, loyal, analytical, realistic, optimistic, interested, quiet, curious, circumspect, individualistic, action-loving, venturesome, cool, dispassionate, reserved, skilful, confident, independent, communicative, down-to-earth

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Why try?

Seriously....why try? I wish I knew. I am always trying to be the "bigger person" when it comes to dealing with my mother. This woman has put me through hell and back, and yet somehow I still end up being the adult in the situation. There have been many times that I have told myself that I wasn't going to do it anymore. I was not going to maintain contact with her, I was not going to allow her to affect her the way she does. However it never happens quite as planned. For some reason I end up feeling guilty because my children really have a lack of involvement from their grandparents. I want them to know their grandparents, I really do. However when they are less than interested there really is nothing that I can do about it, but it still hurts me just the same. I want them to have a grandparent that is involved in their lives and wants to see them as often as they can, but I have come to terms with the fact that my children just aren't that important to her, even though according to her it is my fault that she doesn't see them. Apparently I withhold them from her, because you know she calls OH so much to see them. My younger 2 really don't know her, nor does she know a thing about them. They don't really address her as grandma, but can you blame them? I want to say Dawson has seen her maybe 3-4x a yr since he was born, most of the time for all of about 10 mins. They refuse to get close to her, she will ask for a hug and they just look at her like she is freaking insane. Apparently this is my fault as well. I have brainwashed them into not liking her.
It really is a shame because my children are missing out as well. But I have to get over this. My children ARE better off without her in their lives. There will never be a broken promise, they will never have to see her battered and bruised because she insists on allowing a man to beat her, they will never have to hug her and wonder what the stench is coming off of her. They will never have to hear her tell them 'I have given you everything....oh right except love' (and yes she did once tell me that)

I will no longer allow her any control of my life. I will not invite her to another function, however I will behave if I do see her at a family function. I will continue to be the adult, I have always been when it comes to her. But, I have come to realize that I am better off without her as are my children.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Daily Menu 1.21.09






Baked Potatoes with Cheese and Broccoli


Shredded Cheese


Bake the potato in the oven for 45 mins.

Cover with cheese and broccoli.

Place back in the oven until cheese is melted.




Beef Stew with Biscuit Topping

4 lbs of cubed beef

6 potatoes



1/4 cup of beef base


whole wheat flour (for gravy)

biscuit mix (I cheated today)

Place beef, potatoes, carrots, and beef base in crockpot.

Cover with water.

Cook on high for 6-8hrs.

Remove broth and put in saucepan.

Mix flour/water mixture (1 cup of flour/2 cups of water....more water if too thick)

Add mixture to broth. Heat till thickened.

Place meat, potatoes, carrots and gravy into a 13 x 9 casserole dish.

Prepare biscuit mix (doubled mixture)

Spoon biscuit on top.

Bake in oven for @ 20 mins.



20 (2)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Daily Menu 1.18.09


Oatmeal and Fruit



Clean out the




Potato Soup

48oz of chicken broth

5-6 medium golden potatoes

1/2 heavy whipping cream

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp thyme

1 clove of garlic minced


Wash potatoes and  cube.

Pour chicken broth in crock pot. Add cubed potatoes.

Cook on high heat for 6-8hrs until potatoes are tender.

Pour broth, potatoes and heavy cream into a large sauce pan and bring to a boil.

Stir in shredded cheese, pepper, thyme, and garlic.

Simmer on medium heat until cheese is fully melted.

Serve and eat.

17 (3)



Sunday, January 18, 2009

Saturday, January 17, 2009

No Faith= No Moral....old blog...brought over for a friend ;)

I have been meaning to blog about this for quite sometime (I know Danielle, get off my back * but have been trying to find the right words to get my point across. Not sure these are the "right" words, but here I go anyway.
The subject of this actually came about because Matt's mother asked me to help her out with a topic for her philosophy class. The question that she needed an answer to was: If a person has no religion, does that make them an immoral person? Ok...and for those of you who DO know about Matt's mom then you should know her answer to this....and if you KNOW me you should also know that we DON'T see eye to eye on this one. But, the topic has been brought up on several other occassions as being the latest one and being that it is all fresh in my mind. I will sit here and blog about it. (You all know that I LOVE to blog about "hot button" topics.) lol
By definition morality is as follows:
Morality (from Latin moralitas "manner, character, proper behaviour") refers to the concept of human action which pertains to matters of right and wrong—also referred to as "good and evil"—used within three contexts: individual conscience; systems of principles and judgments—sometimes called moral values—shared within a cultural, religious, secular or philosophical community; and codes of behavior or conduct morality
So the point that Matt's mother was trying to make is that if you do not follow "God's word" you are immoral (or in other words evil). But according to "God's word" you should not judge, Though I have found myself in many situations that I am being judged on my unconventional lifestyle, and honestly in almost every one of these situations the judgement is being passed by a Christian. Which is just another example of the hypocrisy within the Christian religion. I have found that Christianity sort of follows a 'do as I say, not as I do' mindset.
Generally speaking, Christian parents are preaching to their children that they should love all persons equally, but yet on the other hand they are dismissing a gay person's right to wed. Many Christians frown upon homosexuality saying that "God" feels that homosexuality is a sin, but yet "God" teaches us to love each other equally. Well how is that so if homosexuality is a sin. A person cannot help who they fall in love with.
Still generally speaking Christian parents preach to their children that you should not judge another. But yet these same people are passing judgement based on the unknown. I understand that people fear the unknown, but just educate yourself before passing judgement. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I have never passed judgement, because certainly I have. I would be lying if I told you otherwise. I like to think I am pretty non-judgemental (and I think some people will vouch for that as well) and for the most part I will give anybody the benefit of the doubt. I base my judgement on the way that a person carries themselves and through their actions rather than just by their lifestyle. I have friends from very different walks of life, some are conservative Christians, some are liberal atheists but the wonderful thing about that is that they are all open minded and non judgemental and realize that people can be different, and have different beliefs but still be respectful of each other.
I am sure that any parent, not just Christian parents, strive to instill these same values in their children. But I think this is where I differ. I do not preach to my children, we do not attend a church, nor do we speak of "God" in our house. But that does not mean that I don't instill morals in my children.. My children have never heard me put somebody down based on their lifestyle, and I will try my hardest to keep it that way. They realize that everybody on this Earth is different and that is what makes it wonderful. I am also trying to teach my children that it is ok to be different. And for the most part I think I am succeeding. I have raised some wonderfully, free thinking children who have their own opinions and will stand by their convictions. And I can only hope that it will continue throughout their adult lives....AND I have done all of this through being an example of how a person should act, not by preaching a book of man made stories to them. Now if this makes me evil or immoral than so be it. But I think that many people can attest to the fact that I am not an evil person and my children aren't heathens. In fact, I am sure that people can vouch for what exciting, independent, strong, free thinking WONDERFUL children that I do have.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Daily Menu-1.16.09

Well we had a "snow day" here and really didn't do anything too creative with meals today.



Cereal or Scrambled Eggs with Grapefuit

self explanatory for prep here I think


Steak Salads (again)

recipes on previous menu....pic will be here tomorrow

Grapefruit kids love



Take out...we were going to go to dinner...but I didn't feel like it.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Daily Menu-1.15.09


Pan Fried Egg Whites

2 eggs

1tsp olive oil


Place a bit of olive oil in pan.

Heat on medium heat.

Separate 2 egg whites, add 2 tbsp of water and whisk.

Pour egg mixture into pan, cook till lightly browned.



1 grapefruit


Cut in half.

Sprinkle cane sugar on top.




Dipper Lunch



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Peanut Butter Roll-up

1 tortilla

2 tbsp Peanut Butter


Spread Peanut Butter on tortilla

Roll. Eat.

14 (4)


Gala Apples with Homemade Caramel


1 cup of cane sugar

1 stick of butter

1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream

1 tsp natural vanilla


Slice and core apple.

In a large saucepan put 1 cup of sugar on moderately high heat. Whisk away any clumping.

Continue to whisk until all sugar crystals are melted and a light amber in color.

Add butter and whisk until butter is melted. *

Take pan off heat, count to 3, then add whipping cream. * Whisk until smooth.

Allow to cool, then place in container.

Makes 1 cup of caramel.


*BE CAREFUL. Sugar crystals are extremely hot, and when you add butter and whipping cream the mixture bubbles up.

14 (2)

Veggies and Ranch

Veggies of your choice.

16 oz sour cream

1 packet of Hidden Valley Ranch Dip


Combine sour cream and ranch packet.

Cut veggies.

Serve and eat.

14 (3)




shredded cheese

refried beans/or meat of your choice

I make ours in a quesadilla maker, but you CAN make them in the oven.

Place on tortilla down on cookie sheet/quesadilla maker

Add shredded cheese and beans/meat.


14 (7)

*sorry I nearly forget the dinner pics.


Black Bean Soup

2 jars of salsa (pureed) (you can also use homemade salsa @ 4 cups)

2 cans of black beans (drained and rinsed)

1 bag of frozen corn


Place all ingredients into a crock pot.

Cook on low for 8 hours.

14 (6)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Daily Menu-1.14.09


Cinnamon Oat Pancakes

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup of quick oats

1/4 cup flaxseed

1 tbsp baking powder

2 tbsp cinnamon

1/4 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

3tsp vanilla

1 & 1/2 cup of milk

2 tbsp butter (melted)

Combine all dry ingredients and mix till well blended

Combine eggs with vanilla and milk. Whip together.

Combine egg mixture with dry ingredients. Stir well.

Heat pan on medium heat.

Scoop 1/2 cup of mixture into pan.

Cook until brown, flip and cook until browned on the other side.

Makes 8 pancakes.


13 (2)

13 (3)

Homemade "Maple" Syrup

2 cups brown sugar

1 tbsp corn starch

1 cup water

1/2 tsp natural maple flavor

1/2 tsp natural vanilla flavor

1/2 tsp natural almond flavor

Place brown sugar in medium saucepan. Place on medium heat, whisk away any big chunks.

While brown sugar is heating, combine cornstarch with 2 tbsp water. Mix until smooth.

Combine cornstarch mixture and the remaining water into the saucepan.

Whisk frequently till syrup comes to a boil, continue to whisk over medium heat for an additional 2 minutes.

Allow to cool to temperature of your liking.

Makes @ 14 oz.




Left over quiche

See previous recipe.


Cut. Enjoy. :)


Steak Salad

2 lbs. of thin steaks

Romaine Lettuce

Shredded Cheese

Hard boiled eggs

French Fries

Additional veggies of your choice.

Dressing of your choice.

Pan fry steaks till done to your liking.

Fry french fries while steaks are cooking.

Prepare salad while steaks are cooking.

Top lettuce and additional veggies with steak and fries.

Sprinkle with cheese.

Add dressing. ENJOY!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Daily Menu-1.13.09


Turkey Roll-ups

Thin sliced turkey breast

basmati rice

hot sauce



Cook basmati rice according to directions. (I always make mine the day before because it does take like 45 mins to cook, plus it  gives the seasoning time to settle in.)

Add as much spice/hot sauce for your liking.

Take turkey slices, add @ 2tbsp of rice mixture, roll up turkey. ENJOY! YUM.


rinse and eat. :)




Extra Cheesy Quiche

2-packages of crescent rolls

1 cup of shredded cheese (choose what you like) + extra for on top

4 eggs


salt and pepper to taste

muffin pan


Preheat oven to 350*

Put crescent rolls into muffin pan to form small cups.

Whip eggs and a small amount of water.

Add salt and pepper to taste. Whip.

Add cheese to the egg mixture. Whip.

Pour egg/cheese mixture into cups filling them half way.

Sprinkle extra cheese to cover top.

Bake for @ 25 minutes.


12 (3)

Turkey Bacon

Pan fry till crispy.


Cover sausage with water and boil for 15 minutes.

Drain water. Brown sausage.

New Twist....

Ok so apparently I will posted a few times on my blog....daily...hopefully. :D I have decided to start posting our daily menu on here, as well as the recipes for our meals. I have been recently asked for a lot of my recipes  goes. I will also be trying to get together a cookbook of all my recipes....but I think I need to get better at measuring what I put into things. That is my new GOAL!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Karate Kid x2...

kids belt tested this evening. got some great captures. going to extort...ummm....ya .....hehe. have fun. More tomorrow.


oh and yes I know I flaked yesterday...with both BLOG and pic. ugh Back on track now though.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Mad Science....

Ok so the party was a HUGE hit. Three of the children here said this was the BEST birthday party they have ever attended and Dawson said this was his BEST birthday EVER EVER EVER EVER to infinity. :D I guess that's pretty good considering that there were only 10 kids here....3 of the being mine. lol But all the kids seems to have a REALLY good time...I had fun too...hehe.


We started the the day by introducing them to the "lab" and I gave each child a turn to attempt to squeeze a raw egg in the attempt to crack it. me didn't break. Some of the kids thought I had a "fake" egg....but I made sure to crack it open and show them.

After that we did some experiments with packing peanuts (styrofoam vs corn starch) to show how HORRIBLE styrofoam was for the environment. They were pretty amazed to see the corn starch ones dissolve in water.

Then we did some static electricity experiments......we had styrofoam beads (I know I know...I just told them it was HORRIBLE for the environment) in test tubes and used our hands to show how the static electricity made the beads dance around in their tube. We then filled it with water to show the buoyancy of the stryofoam and we made them into tornado tubes for them to take home. We also poured salt and pepper onto a plate and separated the pepper from the salt with a straw using static.

After those experiments we made test tube lava lamps. SUPER cool! They were pretty excited to be taking those home as well.

We did a few "group" experiments before making our own ice cream in a bag. We smashed wintergreen lifesavers in the dark to see the light energy that they create, and we also blew up a balloon using vinegar and baking soda.


THEN came the time to make the ice cream. The kids shook themselves silly with that. It was a GREAT way to burn off some energy mid-way through the party. IMG_7998

(the kids shaking their ice cream with a VERY slow shutter speed...created a COOL effect)



(more ice cream shaking)



(still shaking)

After they made their ice cream they sang Happy Birthday (x2 because Ky wanted to be on camera duty and ended up with 0 pics) and had their home made slime filled cupcakes. YUM!


(singing Happy Birthday)


(slime cupcakes)


Then we opened some presents....







After presents we made squid cartesian divers. And some oobleck. OOBLECK IS THE MOST AWESOME STUFF according to the kids here....ranging in age from 7-15. SERIOUSLY they ALL LOVED it...Can ya tell?



(squid divers)



(this is the aftermath...I wasn't able to get pics of them messing with it. But we decided in the summer to have a "party"...for what I have NO CLUE...and do like "games and stuff" and we will make a HUGE pool of oobleck to play it. :D)


(more oobleck mess....aftermath)


We gave out baggies of oobleck to take home, along with their tornado tube, lava lamp, and squid divers.


As the party came to an end, we went out and dropped about 5 mentos in some coke...and watched the FUN fountain. We ended up keeping MOST of the kids here for a sort of AFTER party. lol The girls played some cranium games, and the boys played bakugan/pokemon. Most of the kids left around 6-6:15...we kept one for dinner.....(Dawson's BEST buddy from the neighborhood who is AMAZING with him...he is 10...but LOVES playing with Dawson. They get along so wonderfully.)


But....all in all a GOOD outcome for the party. Everybody seemed happy.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Bad Blogger...

didn't get around to blogging yesterday....not much to say today....been busy. real blog tomorrow. HOPEFULLY! We have Dawson's science party tomorrow. FUN FUN FUN!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Get Silly....

ah....these are days/nights that I LOVE having children. We had a relatively good day as far as schooling goes. We got quite a few lessons done, and had a lot of time to spare for the day. We ended up doing absolutely NOTHING other than have a good time for the majority of the evening. Dancing around, singing, playing cards, and just being US.....nowhere to be, nothing to do (though I am sure I could have found SOMETHING)....just FUN TIMES.


I have been doing fairly well with picking up my camera on a daily basis and NOT taking pics of the kids. Though I am kind of regretting not doing 365 of the kids, but I guess I could start at ANYTIME.....It will be neat to see the changes in them over the course of the year. I think I MAY start this on Sunday. We will see.


Not too much else to report really....still working through my confusing emotions that I have been dealing with lately. *sigh...I will work through it though...and maybe even post about it. :)


Have a good night.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


ugh....teenagers are SOOO confusing. I have no clue what to do with mine sometimes. We got a paper allowing us access to her grades (FINALLY) and I go to pull up her stuff...and go back to looking through all her old assignments and stuff, only to find 2 BIG 0s. Granted they were from the last quarter, but her grade in Honors English was a 78 last quarter...which is SOOOO uncharacteristic of Britt. All of her grades in her other honors courses where mid-high 90s. Well I figured out the issue. It seems like when you don't hand in assignments worth 48 and 35 pts it really AFFECTS your grade. UGH UGH UGH! I cannot believe she just didn't do these 2 projects. And I know this is because she has her head so far up her boyfriend's ass she isn't thinking straight. Well I made a call to her father, and she won't be seeing him for quite some time. SOOOOO frustrating.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Happy Birthday Little Man....

So today is the little man's birthday, he is now 7 years old. I cannot believe how fact the time has gone by. I feel like he was just a baby....and soon he will be a black belt in tang soo do. YIKES! This coming Monday, Jan 12th, he will be testing for his adv. brown belt, which means just 6 short months before he can test for his black belt as long as he knows his stuff....which he is pretty good on. It doesn't seem possible.


I am still confused. Still thinking. Still working.....will post about it soon I hope. I am just trying to sort of some things in my head.


More soon...I promise.

Full House....

*not sure why this didn't publish last night, but I did blog this on Jan 4, 2009.


Wow.....please tell me again why I continue to host things in my *all too small of a house*.....we had a combined b-day party last night for Dawson (7), my neice K (5), my cousin A (18) and my mom. Ya I know what you are's all good though. Things went fairly well despite the fact that my house was standing room only for the most part. lol. Dawson is pretty excited about his new gift....a GUITAR! He played for a good while last night and really can't wait to start learning how to really play.







Saturday, January 3, 2009

Friday, January 2, 2009


Um. Ya. No words really to describe the day. Well....there are but I am not sure I am ready to put them into words yet. I need some time to digest everything that has been going on.


On another note, Dawson is not feeling well...he has been complaining off and on since Dec. 30th of stomach pain, sometimes dull, sometimes severe. I am not really sure what is going on with his. He woke this morning with pains, he was screaming out...poor little guy. We tried to get some food in him, but it didn't work very well. He laid around for the better part of the morning, just resting and drinking. Then for lunch he was hungry...he ate a bit, and was doing ok...then started complaining again. He is  now napping on the couch....(SO RARE) and is pretty restless.....he creeps getting into the fetal position and wimpering a bit. Ugh...I think we might be heading to the ER depending on how he is when he wakes.


Well....hopefully I will find the words that I want to express in time for tomorrows blog. As for now...I am off to cuddle my little man.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A New Year, A New Me

Ok, I have been thinking about my TO DO list. I have decided on a few things that I want to do and I thought I would write them down so that perhaps it will give me more incentive. I am going to start in SMALL steps. So....I will be adding to the list as I check off what I get done.


I WILL lose 10lbs.


I WILL be sure to get a complete physical.





Over the course of the year.....


I WILL read 2 books a month.


I WILL take at least 1 road trip a month.


I WILL pick up my camera matter what. I haven't been using it as much as I would like. I have to start getting good use out of it, especially if I want to upgrade soon.


I WILL be trying to blog daily, even if it is just about my day or a random picture.


I WILL market myself more this year. I need to get more business.


I know I will be coming back to this, but this is my start.