Sunday, March 29, 2009

Parental Advisory

ARGH!!!!!!!! What has happened to the parents in today's society? Have we all lost the sense of responsibility to the children that we have brought into this world? Do we think so little of how we, as parents, have a large part in the adults that these children are going to become? I would really love to know. It seems like lately I have had my fair share of run ins with some really idiotic people that have been thrust into the role of parenthood, but don't really want to be in that role.

This past weekend has been one incident after another. On Saturday we were at the local roller rink for a friend's birthday party and I witnessed some children taunting each other. Now I know that this happens often, but that does not make it "right." What I saw was 2 little boys chasing a younger girl, marking remarks about her race, her hair, her lack of skating experience, etc. Well this little girl began chasing them, and it became quite the game for these boys. After about an hour I guess this young girl had enough and pushed the one smaller of the 2 boys down and he got hurt. He hit his head on the pool table as he fell to the ground and immediately got a huge egg on his forehead. I am not condoning the fact that this girl laid her hands on this boy. I would never tell my children to resort to this kind of behaviour but I can certainly understand it. A person, not matter what their age, can only handle so much verbal attacking before they snap. It happens often. But, the point of this is the conversation that I heard of the mother of this injured boy having with her son. She was explaining to him that this young girl had no right to lay her hands on him even though he was teasing her. She went on to tell him that kids will be kids and they need to learn to deal with teasing/taunting but it is never ok to lay your hands on somebody. SINCE WHEN is it ok to verbally abuse somebody? This is basically what this young boy was doing. He was taunting her about the fact that she had numerous braids in her hair, he was teasing her about the color of her skin, and would skate circles around her and then when she fell over he would laugh and then skate away. How is this OK?!?! Granted he wasn't really touching her or physically "abusing" her, but this does not make it right. It is NEVER ok to verbally attack another person based on their race. I was dumbfounded that this mother was basically condoning her child's bigotry and telling him that it was ok because he wasn't "beating" her. The thing of it was I really think this mother thought that she was doing the right thing. The  mother of the young girl confronted her about why her daughter was being reprimanded by the skate guard and the mother of the young boy said 'well your daughter pushed my son down because he was teasing her and now he is hurt.' WOW! SERIOUSLY?!?! This mother had absolutely no regard for the fact that this young girl was probably hurting as well, not physically, but emotionally. It is NEVER fun being teased/taunted. I feel that most times those words hurt a lot more and a lot longer than a bump on the head. I cannot believe that this mentality is still so prominent. Just because you don't have a bruise to show for the pain does not mean that the pain does not exist. *sigh

So...onto yet another incident this weekend. The girls and I went to see Godspell. While we were there apparently Matt's mom walked over with Matt's nephew (S=nearly 7yo) to borrow a tool. Well she went to leave and S wanted to stay to play with Dawson, and Matt allowed this despite the fact that we have always had issues when he was here. He is not the most pleasant child to be around and he is just down right mean and nasty at times. He has smacked Dawson with a heavy maglite flash light because Dawson told him it was time to clean up, he has purposely run into the tires of the kids bikes, making them wreck, while he was riding with them because they were riding faster than he was and a bunch of other little petty stuff. It never fails that he and Dawson fight and one of them ends up hurt after 30 mins or so of being together. But was no different. S hit Dawson with a play sword because Dawson refused to give him a bakugan, and Matt went in and reprimanded them, and then wiped  Dawson up, and gave him some ice for his eye. Well during this time S stayed in the kids room until Matt's brother came to get him. Well we thought nothing of it....until Ky went to bed. She went to put some cash back into an envelope she had where she was keeping her birthday money and noticed that she was missing $70. Mind you this money was in an envelope with a gift card that was actually INSIDE of a larger birthday card sized envelope. Ky came up bawling hysterically that she was missing money and she was blaming Dawson for touching it. Well that money had been sitting there for nearly 3 wks UNTOUCHED despite the fact that there were 6-7 kids in and out of there during this time, with a few actually sleeping over. We came to the conclusion that S had to have taken it. There is no other explanation for it. Matt called his brother and told him about what happened and he called S's mother. S was confronted by his mother, who supposedly searched him and found jsut a "few" dollars on him, but who knows with her. She is an addict and I really wouldn't put it past her....or Matt's brother for that matter to find the money and use it for their next fix. S denies taking it, but that's not a shocker either. I know this child has some serious issues. He is a pawn in a game that his mother and father are playing. It really is a shame,  but I cannot allow this to slide. Children learn from example and it really isn't a shock that he is resorting to this type of behaviour. He knows that his father is an addict. S was with him when he was arrested for buying heroin. S has witnessed him stealing from his mother (Matt's mom.) There have been many other incidents but I will just let it go. These parents are so unfit it is unreal. Their lack of concern for this child is apparent. I hate that their actions are affecting my children negatively.

I know that I cannot protect my children from all of the negativity in the world today. In fact I am probably more open about how much negativity there is in this world than a lot of parents out there. I do not censor much. I am pretty straight forward with nearly every subject. If they ask about something I do tell them honestly as much as they want to know. However this does not mean that I want them to be hurt, or blatantly disrespected, or anything along those lines. I want them to be able to trust people, especially family. If you cannot trust those that are supposed to be the closest to you, the ones that are supposed to love you unconditionally, the ones that are supposed to stand by you when times are tough, the ones that are supposed to pull you out of hard times, who in the hell can you trust? I know that I have some serious trust issues because of pain and hurt that was caused by those that I thought loved/cared for me in my family. I do not want that for my children. This is one of the major reasons that I have cut many of my family members from our lives. I refuse to allow these people to inflict hurt and pain onto them with their actions and blatant disregard for others.

A huge number of children today seriously lack a good role model and this is going to affect the future of the world. I am not really looking forward to that. I can only hope that there are more children out there that do have somebody in their lives that teach them how to be a respectful adult.

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