Friday, July 25, 2008


Love. What is love? Well the dictionary defines love as follows:
Main Entry: 1love
Pronunciation: 'l&v
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please
1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love love>
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration love> b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God
5 : a god or personification of love
6 : an amorous episode : LOVE AFFAIR
7 : the sexual embrace : COPULATION
8 : a score of zero (as in tennis)
9 capitalized, Christian Science : GOD
Love is such an intense, complex, complicated emotion to define that even the dictionary has 9 different (though sort of the same) ways to describe it. But this doesn't really tell you what LOVE really is.
Love has no boundaries, at least it shouldn't if it is "real" love. You cannot limit love based on gender, color, age, religion, or status for that matter. So, this actually has me thinking, if love has no boundaries and you cannot control who you love, then who is to say that you cannot love more than one mate. Now, just hear me out. I am not saying that we ALL should take on multiple partners, or become polygamists or anything like that, just think about this with an open mind.
Love is a very complex emotion, and can be determined and felt in many different ways. I mean, we certainly do not love every person in the same way. We don't love our parents the same, we don't love our friends the same, and most parents (even though they will deny it) don't love their children the same. This isn't saying that we love one child more than the other, we just love them differently. We love them each for their own personalities. Now still keeping your mind open, transfer all of those emotions onto a "mate." Is there a reason, other than society's taboo, that we cannot fully love two mates, I mean obviously no two people are the same, so they can both bring you a very intense feeling of love, even though they may be different kinds of love. Just as we love our children for their individual traits, the same can be said for lovers.
Perhaps polyamorists/polygamists know something more about love and life than we do. Putting religious and societal convictions aside regarding marriage and union, these people are allowing themselves to love and be loved by more than one person, which one would think would give each individual a sense of feeling completely loved. I know there are times in my relationships where I feel that things are lacking, and despite open communication there are times when these voids cannot be filled by my one mate, whether it be because he is not capable of doing what I would like, or whether it be a time constraint, or the fact that he just really does not want to fulfill that need. And I am sure the same can be said for him as well. I am sure that I don't fulfill his every desire either, and finding another mate that would fulfill that could possibly make things better for all of us involved. Granted this would all have to be experiences with an open mind, because jealousy can be a cruel emotion.
Now, no bashing here. I realize that relationships are supposed to be a compromise, and on all the "important" issues it should be. This is what makes a relationship work. But what about on the not so "important" issues, like going to the theater or the ballet, or certain hobbies and things. Why not spare your one "mate" the agony of attending these, as spare yourself the lack of enthusiasm (and possibly the following arguement) by attending this with another "mate" who enjoys it?
Ok...say I wiki'd love as well...and this is what wiki has to say about it:

The definition of love is the subject of considerable debate, enduring speculation, and thoughtful introspection. In ordinary use, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism). Dictionaries tend to define love as deep affection or fondness.[1] In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favoured definitions of love involve altruism, selflessness, friendship, union, family, and bonding or connecting with another.[6]
The different aspects of love can be roughly illustrated by comparing their corollaries and opposites. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more mutual and "pure" form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other connotations of love may be applied to close friendships as well.
More on it here....LoveNow I know it is talking about lust here, but that is not what I am talking about. Yes, I know many people get love and lust confused. But what I am talking about is fully loving two or more people. I don't want to bring religion or societal taboo into this, just your heart and emotions. Granted many outside influences affect how we personally view things, which is why I like to look at everything with an open mind, and that's all I am asking of you. Look at this with an open mind, a completely open mind. What are your feelings on this?

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