Ultimatum

Ok...so my latest blog is going to be a HUGE rant. I tend to use this as my outlet so...that's what I am going to do.

The latest drama in my life is caused by none other than.....for those of you who know me personally.....you can probably guess...MATT'S FAMILY! His brothers (M and Z) are not exactly the most upstanding citizens, shoot that's even giving them a little. They are the poorest excuse for a man that I can think of. Let  me give a little background for those of you that don't really know. Both of them are still living at home, (they are both over 30) not paying their mother a dime, in fact she pays ALL of their bills....car insurance, work insurance, child support, and even has purchased them both vehicles because they are unable to hold down a job because apparently friends and drugs are more important to them. They expect the entire world to revolve around them. The will think nothing of calling over here and asking Matt for money (despite the fact that he is laid off and we have a family...and it is Xmas time) so that they can put gas in their cars and when he refuses they get pissed off. They are extremely selfish, and will do ANYTHING it takes to get what they want and WHEN they want it. The one (Z) has even put his SON (S, who is 6) in danger by taking him to buy heroin FREQUENTLY in a not so nice part of town. He was finally arrested buying heroin with his son and his son spent the afternoon in a police holding tank until Matt's mother was able to get to him. This isn't the 1st time he has been arrested, but it was the 1st time he had his son with him. The other one (M) has also been arrested his fair share of times...his latest is a felony gun charge, he was picked up at a KNOWN crack house and he had an unlicensed gun on him. Anyway.....their mother has ALWAYS bailed them out. However she complains to Matt and I about what losers they are, and how tired she is of everything that they do, and the situations  that they are always putting her in. After the time that Z was arrested with S she swore that she couldn't let him back into the house, and he HAD to go to rehab. Well, that latest all of about 2 days. She bailed him out of jail and then let him back into the house. He was supposed to get rehab (court ordered) so that he could maintain visitations with his son. Well she was set to take him to rehab, and then he talked her out of it, saying that he could do it at home. (which mind you she has done numerous times before, because she thought she could cure him with the Bible) Well needless to say that DIDN'T work. They are both still using, and stealing in the process. They have stolen from her, set up a payday loan in Matt's name, and stolen from random people. The friends that they hang out with are constantly in trouble as well. But anyway....

 

Our most recent dilemma is they are being accused of stealing power tools (which I wouldn't doubt. Z has been showing Matt these power tools that he SUPPOSEDLY bought at a pawn shop) from a VERY shady character. A friend of Matt's called him up on Saturday and told him that this guy (they are neighbors) is gathering a crew of guys to handle the situation (ie beat the shit of out Z and M) I, personally, was ok with this. They need something, maybe this is it. Well, Matt being the ass that he is decides that he needs to smooth things over. Well he tells this guy to give him a day or so to try to figure things out and see if he can find out any information. Well these guys were then "watching" our house Sunday. These guys are not people to mess with.  The one set his mother's house on fire WITH HER IN IT, because she was messing around with another man in there. They have also broken many of legs/arms to find out information. So, needless to say I am worried about MY family now because of this fucking mess that they are in. Well fast forward to  Monday night. The guy calls our house (YES he found our phone number) and told Matt to take him over to his mother's garage so that he can see if his tools are there. Well, I know this guy isn't going alone so I told Matt, that he wasn't going. I told him to call his mom's house and see if his brothers were there. Well they were. Fine....problem solved, right? Call the guy back and tell him Z and M are there, and let THEM deal with it. Tell the guy that you don't talk to your brothers and have NO IDEA what they are into. Simple way to stay out of it. I have done it many times with my extended family. I don't want MY family...meaning Matt and the kids....in ANY situation or potential situation that could be dangerous to them. I don't want them associating with people that could potentially put us into a questionable situation. And I certainly won't be associating with anybody that would do it either. I have severed ties with one of my brothers after he stole money from my bank account, I have severed ties with my father because of things he has done in my past (and in doing that I have lost contact with 2 of my brothers, who were babies when I lost contact...his children from another marriage), I have minimal contact with my mother because of her choices she has made in regards to the men she dates and her drug/alcohol use. I don't have a problem severing ties in order to PROTECT my family. It is my job as a mother to do so. I will do anything....and I MEAN ANYTHING to ensure that they are safe, if that means severing ties with family then so be it. I know the old adage, blood is thicker than water. I agree with this in regards the family that *I* created. However, when people continuously put themselves and others in danger with the wrong choices, I find it hard to feel sympathy for them...FAMILY or NOT! I am a strong believer in the saying...You made your bed, you LIE in it! We are all free to make our own decisions in life and every decision that you make affects your next step in this life...and you and ONLY you are responsible for them.

Well, I got a little off track there...so back on track. On Monday, the guy calls, Matt agrees to take him over there, I call his mom's house and realize his brothers are there, Matt then calls his mom and his dad to try to explain the situation to them. Well while he was talking to his dad, his brother M calls and starts screaming that he is suing the guy for defamation of character and slander because of these accusations (which by the way he ALWAYS does anytime he is busted on something) well while he is screaming at Matt, the guy shows up at the house (their mom's  house) and runs into Z...who was just getting home from hunting, and these guys come down the driveway and he pulls his gun out on them. Well during this M hangs up on Matt. Matt starts freaking out saying I have to go over there....fine...You go...I am calling the cops. Matt starts fighting me on this, telling me not to call the cops, he can handle it. Well I told him it didn't matter....if he walked out the door....911 was getting called. Well he calls his dad to see if  his dad was on the way...and then leaves to go over there. While Matt was arguing with me though about calling the cops, Z calls over here. He asks if Matt was here, I say...yep....*silence*.....he says....what's he doing?....me...ummm standing here. him...well can I talk to him? ok....well Matt gets on the phone and starts being all nice to him, coddling him like he always does. Well I have had enough and I press the hang up button. I refuse to allow Matt to enable them any further by babying them. Well Z calls back....Matt is telling me to tell them that I did it...I hung up on him. OK I don't have a problem with that.. I answer the phone. Z says...Jill is Matt there? Me....YEP....*silence* Z...can I talk to him? Me....NOPE....Z....hangs up.....2 secs later..phone rings.....its Z....Matt says don't answer I am going over there. Fine...he leaves. I call 911. Well apparently somebody else had already called and they were there. As Matt was leaving I told him to make sure that Z and M know NOT to call here anymore, I will no longer associate with them....they endangered my family...and I won't tolerate it. Matt says Fine. Well as I was calling the cops, Dawson was freaking out because he didn't want to see his uncles in trouble. Well at this point I was DONE.....completely done. I don't ever hide things from my children. I make certain that they know things that are going on. They know why we  don't see grandma often....they have never met my father...and they know why (for the most part)....and they also know about my brother as well. Well I told them....Z and M are bad people who do bad things and don't think about how their actions hurt the people around them.

Anyway....Matt comes home....starts explaining things to me, how the guy got loud....yet his brothers maintained calm (they were stoned)....and the cops didn't really solve anything because they weren't able to get into the one garage. Well...anyway....I decided that I didn't want to hear anymore because Matt had EVERY excuse to defend his brothers. I am tired of hearing it. I am not sure why that entire family continues to defend their actions. Blood isn't THAT THICK! So....5 mins later the phone rings...it's his mom's house. I pick up. It's Z....he says...hey Jill....is Matt there? me...yep....*silence*.....Z....well can I talk to him? me...no please don't call here anymore. Thank you bye. I hang up. Phone rings again....it's Z....I picked up...hello....he starts screaming...I don't know what the fuck your problem with me is. I haven't done anything to you. Me...Yes you have....You are getting my family involved in shit that it doesn't need to be in....Z starts screaming again...fuck you cunt...you're such a bitch....then hangs up on me. Dawson overheard all this and was now devastated that his uncle was such an ass. Fine....I tell Matt...there are you happy. Are you going to finally wake up and realize the shit that those 2 put this family through? And are you going to call back over and stand up for YOUR family....Me and the kids. To which he then says....you started this. It's your battle. Fine....just as I suspected....they mean more to you than we do. Why in the FUCK are you still here then? I just, for once, want you to stand up for me to your family. I want to come 1st. I want to matter more. Well he says he isn't calling over there to sever ties until this deal with the trailer is done. (That's another story...but he is going to get screwed over by M yet again.) Well...I won't wait that long. I told him he has till the end of the week to choose....US or THEM. As much as I HATE putting up this ultimatum it HAS to be done. I won't continue to risk my family's health and well being for a bunch of low life drug addicts.