Drowning.....Day 6

...in sickness......in stress.....in frustration....in life in general. Have you ever felt like you just couldn't keep your head above water, well that's what I feel like right now. I have been dealing with everything with my gram, despite the fact that I have a more than competent uncle who actually freaking lives there, trying to pay her bills, handle her doc visits, plus make sure that everything that needs to be in place for her is in terms of help and everything...meanwhile I still have a house to run here as well...paying bills, dealing with doc visits, and basic running of the house all while schooling the kids at home and dealing with the teen and her dad drama. (Which BTW on that front, he called today acting as if nothing happened....being nice as pie to her.....*sigh...this is when if messes with her head the most.) So we will see where that goes....

I haven't been able to get back into the groove of schooling, especially with Matt being home all the time....and now he is sick...ugh ugh ugh. He really needs to get back to work so that we can get back into our routine. He really throws things off considering he wants the TV on all the time...it's like his life line...and then Dawson can't seem to focus. So....the sooner he is back to work the better.

I am also dealing with a lot of other things that really need sorted through. I would really hate to lose a very close friend because of what is going on. I hate feeling betrayed and deceived....so...I am not sure what is going to go on.

 

Anyway.....

again no self portrait...or 365 my camera is not uploading right now for some reason and I didn't have time to mess with it much today. I promise to mess with it and then edit the posts.

Day 5....short and sweet...

I am tired...and not really feeling bloggy tonight...but here is my token blog. My pics from today won't upload, serves me right for using the pocket camera rather than my good camera today I suppose.

 

Today was the little man's bday and I am working on a little sentimental piece to post about him, and I also have a few other things going through my head that I need to get out there...which will happen sometimes in the near future, when I am more rested and not dealing with tons of sickness.

Day 4....sick, sick and more sick

Let me just lead into this saying that I absolutely cannot stand  most doctors. I have found, through personal experience, that they are egotistical, power hungry people who think that they are indeed a god-like being and that everything they say should be taken as law. Well I am not the type of person to just lay down and not research something. ANYWAY....with that being said I have been in and out of different doctors' offices or pharmacies or labs ALL FREAKING DAY! OMG I have had ENOUGH!

Everybody in my house is sick, with the exception of myself and I am loading up on herbs to try to keep it that way. Dawson was at the doc this morning, he has a sinus infection, some fluid in his ears, swollen glands/lymphs and then his asthma is HORRIFIC. Ky has tonsilitis and a sinus infection. Britt as a viral infection/cold/laryngitis and Matt has strep and swollen glands. I swear my house is a bacteria factory. *shudder* I  have been going around with the TTO like mad.

So I was at the doc this morning with the kiddies and such, then this afternoon I had to take my gram for her post hospitalization check up. She is doing better than she was, but still not 100%. The doc wants to try some new meds to see if they can get her breathing a little better. I am pushing for some PT because I think she needs it. She is having some serious balance/falling issues.

Anyway...enough sickness. Nothing new on our "drama front"....no contact what-so-ever, but the car is still here and the phone is still on....so...who freaking knows.

 

But I am hoping to get some sleep this evening...I am BEAT.

So here is #4 self portrait ...the girls and I were being silly...it's what we do.

*note...I am really NOT that much taller than them, Britt was on her squatting for some reason. LOL....

# 4 of 365

My princess Kitty!

Day 3

Day 3 of 365....was.....eventful to say the least. This morning we did a bit of Wii fit, then watched our boys (Steelers) play, then I proceeded to do a little cleaning and reorganizing of the toys while listening to the Baltimore/Raiders game. *sigh....What a disappointment! Oh well there is always next year right.

Anyway, like I said yesterday Brittany informed me that she wanted to cyber school so I told her that she had to propose it with her father, who I co-parent with, and then we could all discuss it. Well immediately he threw it off the table without even listening to a concern from Brittany, which is par for the course. He has a habit of not listening to ANYBODY'S concerns, feelings, or emotions. After screaming at her on the phone about how ridiculous the idea of cyber schooling was because of the lack of face to face contact that is necessary to succeed, according to him. He went on and on about how book smarts isn't anything compared to having social skills. We after he finished screaming, yes screaming...not talking, at her he wanted to talk to me about it. Well before I even said anything to him, he flipped and said...ABSOLUTELY NOT! I do not agree with cyber schooling at ALL! She is not cyber schooling because she needs to realize that there are things that you don't want to do in life and getting up and going to high school is one of them. He went on and on bashing me and my "hippie parenting" claiming that he has made the better/best parenting decisions for her. Claiming that he was the "real parent" where as I was just her friend and that a 16yo shouldn't "rule the roost." While I agree that she shouldn't have the final say, I do think that now at 16 yrs old she should have some say. As the conversation went on, he escalated talking about how she would be a loser because only people who go to cyber schools are losers, and if she ended up cybering he would write her off and not see a dime for college from him. (Mind you he does a lot of pompous ranting....OVER everything) Then as I continued to make points that he had no rebuttal for, he threatened to kill me. He has bullied Britt for the past few years always holding over her the fact that he has money...and she can have anything she wants as long as she goes along with his game plan, which just happens to be doing everything he says without complaint, never questioning him because he is ALWAYS right, and never showing

This is a topic that I have researched in depth and feel that Britt would probably prosper. She is gifted and picks up on things rather easily and cyber schooling would allow her to move at her own pace and graduate early. To which he replied....she doesn't need to grad. early, there is a sequence to how things need to be done. Mind you as it is right now, she will be 18.5 when she graduates, why not make it one year earlier? As it stands now I told Britt to prepare for this to end up in court because he is going to be a complete and total ass about it. Mind you he has NOTHING to do with her education right now anyway...I am the one that deals with homework, grades, talking with teachers, fighting with them about grade changes due to clerical errors etc. It's not him. We will see what tomorrow brings with this situation to determine if his threats were empty or not.

So onto a happier note....

Day 3 of self portrait....

is non existent due to fighting.....sorry...

But here is a cute avatar....

Day 3 Photo is because I took it this morning....

Day 2

Day 2 is coming in a little late, we have been having Wii Fit Plus competitions nearly all day long. We are addicted...yes all of us. :) At least we are getting something out of it right.

I wanted to let people out there in blog land who aren't followers of my facebook that there is an amazing woman out there who writes beautifully about matters near and dear to my heart. Woman Uncensored is written in a way that really makes you think about matters that most people don't really give a second thought to. I highly recommend checking her out.

Not much else to report other than a SUPER lazy day.

 

Here are my pics of the day...nothing super creative because we were busy playing the Wii most of the day...but something to show about our day though.

 

Self Portrait # 2....

 

Photo # 2

It's a Wii kind of day..what can I say....:)

Starting Week 1

Read 52 books in 52 weeks....

 

I am starting out reading I'm No Stranger Here Myself-Bill Bryson. I have only read the 1st few pages and I am not quite sure I am going to enjoy it, but I will push through it. :)

 

Day 1

*sigh....I am struggling today mentally....and emotionally. The new year just didn't start the way I was planning, not that anything ever really does as planned anyway. I was hoping for so much more. The end of 2009 was quite stressful and I wanted to put it all behind me but it doesn't look as if I have managed to accomplish that. I spent the 1st 5 minutes of the new year arguing with Matt....what a great kick off....then the next hour plus on hold with AT&T wireless attempting to fix my iPhone, after nearly 2 hours on the phone I gave up and went to bed with the phone still unable to receive calls or texts. Apparently AT&T wasn't prepared and the network was done from midnight till 8am or so here on the east coast. I still had sketchy service up until about noon or so. Talk about a PITA.

 

Today I forced myself to start cleansing my entire life of all the toxins that I feel I have floating around. I started by purging and reorganizing our schooling supplies, then I did a lot of rethinking on how I want our educational adventure to play out over the course of the next few months. I have to say I feel a little better about it now. There is still a huge amount of detoxing that needs to be done but I have some time to get through what I need to get through. Tomorrow is another day.

 

So for now....

Photo 1 of 365

 

Self Portrait 1 of 365

gotta start somewhere right. ;)

 

(Note the missing h key....*ugh...I think it is time for a new laptop.)